Divorce and Successful Marriage ..

Divorces :

1st reason : I feel , that the importance of marriage is overlooked now a days. if you truly love your husband /wife , adjustments – forgiveness comes very easily and there is no room for rejections.

2nd reason : There is Non-attachment. Boys and Girls in India from the last many years have started their relations, during school days and college days. They experience many partners before actually getting married. Then they eventually realize the mistake that he/she is worst male/female, i have ever had in my life ( after comparison with their last many boy/girl freinds). Being a basic nature of human beings, we have natural tendency to get attached to the person we think is the best. And to the worst boys/girls get married after having so many affairs and if unfortunately they realized after sometime the person they got married is not at par with their x-mates, their attachment factor becomes negative and nothing then left in their marriage to hold them for decades to come.

3rd reason : There is “NO LOVE” between the partners.

4th reason : Men is still not ready to Respect the Individuality of his better-half, her views, her opinions and hence the result is ‘divorce’.

5th reason : Women are expected to sacrifice, suffer, take patience, forgive, and what not? But for what? Only for social status of being married. Nothing else, No appreciation, No love and Affection, No care for them. They are treated as full time unpaid servants. In the name of duty they are being exploited to the core. Welfare of women is only on papers. Even the highly educated and employed girls are suffering untold miseries silently.

6th reason : Playing Blame games. As we all can see, men are blaming women for divorce and vice versa. There is no more understanding and hence no more love and patience.

If they understand the concept of marriage very well and its importance there are high chances that one would not walk out of a marriage. There needs to be sense of responsibility and understanding that whatever happens between a men and a woman in a marriage is entirely due to them and that they should have the maturity to dissolve the differences thus created rather than blaming the other partner. Ego -Ego and Ego….

7th reason : For all kind of bonding, “Love” is the strongest force which is almost gone from the Relationships.

8th reason : The Terms “compromises” and “adjustments” have all flown out of the window. Some compromise in the life every one has to do. You cannot get everything, both the partner has to understand this. otherwise divorce.

other Reasons Are:

Lack of communication. Unavailability of time to spend with each other.(Main reason), Excessive responsibility of family and bussiness.(Money-Money-money mantra)

Doubting and quarelling nature leads to dissatisfaction. People start forgetting the ethics and moral values of relationships in the life. Loss of credibility, trust and attachment between the partners. Demand of dowry from bride groom’s family leads to unhappiness and distractions.(Now a days dowry is less ) Mismatching of partners creates sorrow, arguments and clashes. hence ultimatelly divorce.

Love stands for endurance, acceptance, respect, regard, warmth, help, moral support, emotional support and above all , in love you are ought to take hurt not give.

My final conclusion of 33 years of experience as a Councillor : I can say,

(1) Remember money part is not important, but “Love ” is more important to a women.

(2) “Give Respect Take Respect ” is the ‘ Master key ‘ for Successful Marriage.

(3) Successful Marriage stands on Truth, Joy , Love & Trust .

(4) In marriage : M stands for Merging – આત્મસમર્પણ

A stands for Ambition – મહત્વકાંક્ષા

R stands for Respect – સનમાન

R stands for Response – આવકાર (સ્વાગત)

I stands for Intimacy – ગાઢ એક્યતા

A stands for Assurance – વિશ્વાસ

G stands for Gaiety – આનંદ

E stands for Eternity – શાસ્વતા

if you follow and respect the above meaning of MARRIAGE you are Successful in Marriage.

(5) Last but not the list, my favourite slogan : Time + Understanding + Situation = Satisfaction. So Spend maximum Time together, Understand eachother, and at any Situation bondage is important, so that Marriage is fruitful in satisfaction.

Be happy,

Dr.Sudhir Shah

note: above article was published on 24-12-2008 on my blog post, again today 21-7-2014 publishing for the benefit of readers.

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